Difficult Conversations : How to Discuss What Matters Most Patton Bruce (2015)

We have all faced situations in which we know we must talk to a colleague, a manager or a friend about something uncomfortable and possibly explosive. We think it over repeatedly, put it off, and finally stumble through a confrontation when we could have had a conversation. Based on fifteen years of research at the Harvard Negotiation Project, Difficult Conversations offers a definitive approach to handling unpleasant exchanges. It shows that such discussions involve not one dialogue but three: the what happened conversation, concerning what we believe was said and done; the feelings conversation, concerning the emotional impact on everyone involved; and the identity conversation, concerning what the situation means for each persons view of themselves. Whether asking for a pay rise, saying no to a manager, asking a favour or apologizing for a mistake, these conversations can feel like a nightmare, and this book has earned its place as a business classic.